Never Again
by officespace
Summary: Some things should never been seen by the human eye, especially if Loki has anything to do with it. Rated T for implied things. Pure fun


Never Again

Loki stared across the room, bored, no one was in the Avengers tower. Everyone had left to do what ever it was they did during the day. He however was banned from leaving the tower after the little incident involving a baby stroller, a muffin, and a screw driver. Really it wasn't his fault, but who would listen to the god of lies. He sat at the bar about the fall asleep when he heard a faint beeping noise from across the room. He looked up, trying the pin the noise to an exact place. It was coming from what Tony called a computer, he had seen Tony and Steve use the device many times, but paid no mind to such a useless toy.

He got up slowly, stretching his legs a bit before walking over to the desk where the beeping computer lay. He touched the smooth silver surface of the machine, noting how cold and pleasant it felt under his fingers tips. Suddenly the machine stopped beeping; he froze, though the light was still flashing on and off. After a minute or so he decided he would tinker with it a bit more. He lifted the top and the screen turned on, a large box appeared in the middle. The outline of the box was flashing and a picture of a woman smiling ear to ear next to the letters 'MSN' showed bright on the screen. "what is this madness" Loki mumbled to himself, he pulled out the chair and sat down staring at the screen. Not knowing how to operate the device he touched a few keys, moving his fingers across the black keyboard over all the letters he understood and a few that he didn't. Then he brought his slender fingers to a small box under the keyboard, he was surprised that when he touched the box a small triangle with a tail moved. He jerked his fingers to the left, the shape followed, he moved to the right, it copied again. "hehehe" he sighed perhaps this will be an interesting evening after all.

He spent the past couple of minutes clicking on various things, word documents, desktop icons, and a few interesting pictures of woman in lewd positions which caught his interest a little more then he would like to admit. Then a small box with a picture of a man in what would appear to be a leather jump suit of some kind, with the letters 'MSN' popped up again. He looked closely at the box, but it began to fade away so he ran the mouse over it and clicked on it. This is the text that followed:

**SoLonely:** wats cookin' good lookin'

Loki starred blankly at the screen before punching in a few random keys

**[Fe]Man:** Excuse me?  
**SoLonely:** You're excused ;)  
**[Fe]Man:** Who are you?  
**SoLonely:** everything u every wanted  
**[Fe]Man:** Impossible, how could you ever hope to understand what I want  
**SoLonely:** bcuz i know everything about u

Loki gasped nearly jumping out of his seat, how could this machine know everything about him, what kind of trickery was this. In his rage he accidently enabled the wed cam.

**SoLonely:** Oh! hot stuff 3  
**[Fe]Man:** What?  
**SoLonely:** what a cutie, wanna have dinner some time

"The nerve!" Loki said out lond, the other man didn't hear

**[Fe]Man:** I'll have you know, I have no interest in the courtship of a machine  
**SoLonely:** Ouch =( but who wouldnt forgive those pretty green eyes

The blood rushed to Loki's face, causing a slight blush on his fair smooth skin 'How did he know..' he said to himself

**[Fe]Man:** I am still not interested in having dinner with you!  
**SoLonely:** Fine w/me ttyl ;)  
**::SoLonely Has Logged Off::**

The text disappeared leaving Loki lost and confused. This machine seemed to possess a far greater power then he had ever expected. He clicked around the desktop for a few minutes bringing up a window with the icon of a fox in circling a world. The window then opened to a white screen with the letters 'Google' on it, with a little rectangular box under it. "Interesting," he moved the pointer over the box and typed in the word 'secrets' and clicked search. After a few seconds it loaded "That was easy," he skimmed through the pages "That's right, tell me all your secrets." he grinned and read on

Link: The best kept secrets, they don't want you to know  
secrets

"Aha, lets see." he clicked on the link, but to his horror his eyes were bombarded by naked woman pleasuring themselves with other woman, what would appear to be a male's private parts but in strange sizes and colors, and other random objects. "Wha-what! I'm sure that doesn't go there!" He covered his eyes "Gross!" He tried to scroll down to escaped the vile contain. A video began to play, "What is this?" he began to read "...five interesting ways to "recycle" your coke bottle...OH SON OF ODIN!" He gagged and closed the window. He breathed a sigh of relief, never has he seen so much vulgarity in his life and he has lived a very long time. He lifted up his hand and there was a window flashing the words 'Interactive Human Slave'. His eyes lit up, "Finally! Something worth pursuing" he said with glee and although he had long since abandoned his plan of taking over Earth, it was nice to have a back up plan just in case, the Avengers upset him. He clicked on the link and there was two men standing in what looked like a dungeon. One was tied to a table and gagged and the over standing over him with his back turned looking straight at Loki. Some text appeared:

Scenario: Your loyal slave has stolen from you, now you must punish him.

"Well, he will certainly not get away with that," Loki mumbled to himself, not even caring to ponder what was stolen from him if anything at all, he browsed through the options "Lets see," he continued to scroll "Ah, 'Cut and Carve' sounds fitting," he clicked "He will feel very embarrassed indeed after having his hair cut." The man in the room read the screen and grinned with pleasure; picking up a few interesting looking knifes and needles. Loki looked on with interest until the man began piercing the other mans nipples "Oh Gash!" Loki covered his month with his fingers. The man then began to cut into the other man's chest starting at the nipples trailing all the way down to the bonded man's shift. "OH MY WORD!" he cringles "OH PLEASE! NO, DON'T PUT IT THERE! HAVE MERCY, A KNIFE SHOULD NOT BE PUT THERE!" Loki threw the computer across the room in a panic, trying to control his breathing.

Tony walked out of another boring business meeting, glancing at his lifeless phone, then a call came through from 'TonysCribb' he answered

"ANTHONY"  
"It's Tony,"  
"THERE WAS A MAN, HE HAD STOLEN FROM ME, OH ODIN, HIS HAIR, I TRIED TO-"  
"It's ok, calm down, tell me what happened" Tony sounded worried  
"That computer, it's a vile, wicked, thing."  
Faceplam "I'm on my way."

Everyone arrived home, dumfounded at the scene that played out before their eyes, Tony was cradling a weeping Loki on the couch in the main room "It's okay, no, he'll be just fine. He stuck it wear! Wow." Tony looked in shock, more so in surprise in the fact that you could even do 'that' in the first place. Tony turned and glanced at his teammates "Yeah, this is going to be a while" All but Clint, who was giggling a little, stood in shock at the door.

FINALLY! I have written my first Avengers/Loki fan fiction XD so happy, more to come, in the future...maybe XD


End file.
